Hold My Heart
by Lee Gallagher
Summary: Rikku likes Paine, but doesn't know how to tell her. What's a happy, bouncy girl to do? Rikku X Paine obviously. This is my first fic, so please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fic, I hope it doesn't suck to much. It's Rikku X Paine, hope you enjoy. Please R&R.

Disclaimer thingy: I own none of the characters in this story, neither am I making money from this little endeavour.

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Hold My Heart

"What am I supposed to do? I like her, I know I do, but I don't know what to do about it," Rikku sighed, "I've thought of everything short of walking up and saying, 'Hey, not sure if you've noticed, but I really like you.' But everything I think of always seems so... stupid. It's hopeless, isn't it, Pochi?"

The stuffed moogle didn't reply, it simply sat there on Rikku's bed. Not that she'd really expected it to, but it felt better to moan at Pochi than the wall. Sometimes anyway.

"I mean, there's got to be something I can do, I can't just sit here and say nothing, it'll drive me crazy! Oh, poopie!" Rikku threw her pillow at the wall in frustration. "Maybe I should ask someone for advice..." the sentence trailed off as Rikku tried, and failed to think of a single person she could talk about this particular problem to. Yunie would probably just look at her weirdly and change the subject, she had always been sweet but kind of well, goody-goody. There was no way she was going to tell Brother, even if he had advice, there was no way he could keep anything secret. Buddy was well... Buddy was so busy mooning over Brother most of the time that he was near useless... Shinra and Barkeep were out of the question for obvious reasons, come on, a Hypello and a little kid? She'd have to be really desperate to ask them. And as for Paine... Rikku's heart started beating a little faster when she thought of her. Paine was everything she could have wanted in a partner, strong, sweet (Rikku just knew she was, she'd seen flashes of it at times) beautiful, understanding, she could have gone on for pages and pages. In fact, she had at times, she had quite a few letters, poems and songs she'd written to Paine and had never had the guts to deliver, even anonymously.

Deep down inside, she thought there was the possibility Paine _could_ like her, but really, Rikku didn't think about it to much, it would hurt too much to be rejected. Sometimes she would daydream about telling Paine how she felt. The picture in her mind usually ended either in one of those long, tender kisses Rikku had always _known_ a real kiss was supposed to be like, or a tangle of bodies and bed sheets when her imagination was really going into overdrive.

And then the daydream would end, Rikku would sigh, wish it was possible, and go on with her life. She never let herself get the hopes up to high, because she believed that in the end, the reality would only disappoint her. Every single time Paine gave her the "you really are an idiot." look, a little part of Rikku would start crying, even as she felt her mouth form something cute, and she hoped, witty to say. No matter what she ever said, Rikku despaired of ever having Paine think she was anything other than a cute, bouncy, idiot. Hell, even Yunie was starting to think she was. It was just, well, every time she was around Paine, she got so nervous that the only thing she could do when she could do was bounce around and spout things that sounded air-headed, even to her. It was so frustrating, she didn't know what to do.

Sighing to herself again, Rikku opened the drawer at the small desk that was crammed into the cabin with her bed and one chair. Inside was everything that she had ever written to Paine. Hopefully no one would find them here. Actually, if Rikku thought there was a possibility of anyone ever finding them here, they would have been somewhere else entirely. Like the garbage chute. It wasn't that Rikku was embarassed of liking Paine, no that wasn't it. The poems were just so... _bad_. Everytime Rikku read them, she cringed. But she saved them anyway, even though she wasn't sure why.

Rikku pulled out another piece of paper, and got a pen out of the cup she had on her desk. It had her name on it, with little flowers, a birthday present from her mother when she was little. She frowned in concentration at the blank sheet of paper and began writing.

_I'm in love with you_

_But what am I to do?_

"No, that's no good," Rikku thought, crossing it out and going to the next line.

_Do you see me here?_

_Loving you so much it hurts_

_Do you even know the love I feel?_

_The words I try to use always betray me_

_And they come out wrong_

_I'm so afraid that you don't feel the same._

"Slightly better," thought Rikku, and she was about to write more when there was a knock on her cabin door. Startled, she snatched up the paper and stood up, hiding it behind her back.

"C-come in." she said, slightly nervous. The door opened and she suddenly she felt better and worse at the same time. Paine stood in the doorway, a slightly impatient look on her face.

"Brother wanted everybody up on the bridge, some kind of meeting. The intercom system is broken, so he's having _me_ do it." The look on her face said that she'd rather be doing something else, like drinking acid.

"Oh, okay, I'll be right there." Rikku said, smiling, and waiting for Paine to leave so she could put the incriminating paper back in the drawer. But Paine continued standing there, obviously waiting for her. Since she wasn't going to be left to put the paper away, Rikku folded it behind her back and stuck it in her pocket, so she could get rid of it later.

"Come on, wouldn't want you to get lost." Paine said. Rikku wasn't sure if she ws being sarcastic or not, she hoped she was.

"Aaww, come on, I think I can get to the bridge and back without getting lost." Rikku said, flashing her perkiest smile.

The only reply was for Paine to give her a look that said "Maybe, but it's doubtful," and keep walking, with Rikku trailing behind.

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Well, how was it? (raises asbestos umbrella) If you liked it, please review. If you didn't like it, well... review it anyway, just no flames please...


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me so long to write the new chapter, I've been doing lots of things lately. Anyway, thank you for being patient with me. Enjoy.

Hold My Heart ch. 2

Paine walked down the hall at a rapid pace, lost in her own thoughts. Once again, Rikku was being her bouncy self, talking fifity miles an hour, and as usual, Paine was tuning it out. It was actually soothing sometimes. Rikku _did_ have a nice voice, now if only she would stop talking constantly about nothing… As a matter of fact most of the things about Rikku were nice, her hair, her face… Paine recognized where her thoughts were going and cut them off. No. That was yet another thing she _was not_ going to talk about.

"No what?" said Rikku, turning around to give Paine a startled look. Paine realized that she must have said the no out loud and silently cursed herself.

"Excuse me?" said Paine, "I didn't say anything." _I sure hope this works_. She thought to herself.

"Yes, you did." Insisted Rikku. "I was talking about that last sphere we found when you just said No, out of nowhere."

"No, I didn't." Paine said, adding with it a look that had been known to make grown men reconsider their words. She hated herself for doing it, especially when she saw the cowed look on Rikku's face.

"Alright, alright, no reason to get touchy about it." Rikku said, her lower lip sticking out in what Paine thought had to be the cutest pout she had ever seen.

"Maybe I should do something about how I feel," Paine thought wistfully "what's the worse that could happen?" As if in answer, she abruptly remembered the last time she'd tried something like that. The disgusted look on the girls face, like Paine carried some sort of disease that was contagious, and the looks on the faces of the girl's family when they had found out. That was one place on Spira Paine _still _preffered to avoid.

_But not everyone is like that,_ whispered a small voice. _besides, do you really want to be alone for your entire life?_ "No, I don't," thought Paine, "but I also can't throw a decent freindship away just because I'm desperate for companionship. Besides, I heard how she talks about Gippal, I don't know if she even likes girls, let alone me." After that, Paine let her mind float, and contented herself with watching Rikku as she bounced ahead of her in the corridor, her voice a soothing, pleasant sound.

Paine let herself watch Rikku walk, knowing there was no one around to catch her staring at the other girl's... back. She suddenly noticed a small piece of paper sticking out of Rikku's back pocket. _Hmmm, wonder what that could be? _Paine thought to herself. Paine stared at the small white shape, and suddenly, she got the impulse to snatch the piece of paper out of Rikku's pocket. _Well why not, she bugs me enough doesn't she? Time for some payback. _With this thought, Paine suddenly darted forward and snatched the paper out of Rikku's pocket before Rikku even knew what had happened.

Rikku was talking, bouncing along, when she felt the slightest tug on the back of her skirt _What the hell? _she thought, not really even sure what it was. Then she heard a noise that made her stop dead in her tracks. It was the sound of paper being unfolded. _Oh no, the paper, I left it in my pocket. Paine's behind me, if she reads it..._

Rikku turned just in time to see Paine unfold the paper and read the first line or two. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?" she said, making a panicked grab for the paper Paine held casually in one hand.

"What, I'm just doing a little reading." Paine said, easily keeping the paper out of the other girls reach. "Hmmm, it's not bad for a love poem, who'd you write it to?" _Lucky bastard, whoever he is._

"N-n-none of your business Paine!" Rikku said, feeling a blush rise in her cheeks. _Oh please don't let her figure out it's to her. But she said it's good. Oh gods, I can't tell her, she'll laugh at me, or worse, she'll hate me. _"B-besides, why would I tell you who it was to?"

"Well, fine, don't tell me then. I'll just keep it anyway." Paine said, feeling slightly annoyed that Rikku wouldn't tell her _Well, why wouldn't she? She feels perfectly fine babbling about everything else on Spira, you'd figure she could answer one lousy question._

"Well, what the hell do you think you're doing, taking things that aren't yours?" Rikku said, desperate to cover who it was really to, hoping that if she got mad enough, Paine would just drop it.

Unfortunately, she was having no such luck. "Oh really?" Paine bristled, "and you don't do the same thing, always prodding and poking, never giving anybody a moment's quiet. You'd think the entire damn world was your business, the way you keep sticking your nose into everything! You'd think this was for Brother, as desperate as you are to cover it up!"

"It is not!" yelled Rikku, "It's for you... you, you, bitch!"

Paine rocked back as though she had been hit. She was about to say something, but Rikku had turned and fled down the hall, back to her room. Looking down at the words on the paper, Paine felt a blush spread through her cheeks. All she could find to say was "Oh."

Sorry I left it there, seemed like a good place for a break. I promise chapter 3 will be here quicker than two was... really, I promise... sweatdrop

For those of you wanting teh hawt Rikku x Paine action, please be patient with me, it's coming, I promise...


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